I remember love
2.28.2009 by Kerrie
10 unforgettable moments in my life
This is going to be remarkably random and in no order whatsoever. Just as they come to me. Some are good and some are bad, but they all make up my life and who I am. So I appreciate all moments equally.
1. Becoming friends with Anthony. I'll never forget the way it happened. Sophomore year, I was 15. I gave him my AOL screen name after a voice lesson (he took piano from the same teacher.) because I thought he was cute. (No joke. Even then. I could post an embarrassing picture of him and Max - he knows the one I mean - to illustrate my point, but I'm not that mean. :-D) We talked online that night for 6+ hours. Our first real conversation was 6+ hours long. We were watching a marathon of MTV's hit show 'Undressed'. It was one of those things that stuck instantly. My life would be completely different had I not thought he was cute, despite the fact that I was dating Tim at the time. Whoops. ;-)
2. The day I found out my dad was HIV positive. It was late in August 2005. My parents had decided to get a divorce that past September, so he didn't come home from Maine that year. My friends had already gone off to college for the first time because FL school start earlier. I was still in my pajamas, on my computer, watching TV. My dad had been in the hospital for a few days by this point. My mom knocked on my door, told me what he was sick with. I had very little reaction, a very "Kerrie way" of handling things at the time. I remember e-mailing Anthony instantly because for the first time he wasn't in Cape Coral. I don't remember crying or feeling much of anything at first, it all took a while to sink in. It may still be sinking in, though he's doing really well and it's very much under control. In a way the divorce and the sickness sort of sparked the relationship I have with him now - which still isn't remarkably strong or easy, but it's a vast improvement from while I was growing up.
3. Moving to FL. I don't remember the move, what time of year we left, or even moving our stuff into the house. All I remember is my first day of school - we moved in the middle of my 2nd grade year. I remember my mom walking me to the classroom at Skyline Elementary, and being absolutely shocked at the amount of kids in the room and the amount of computers. After coming from Maine with 10 kids to a class and maybe 5 computers for the whole school, it was a bit jarring. ;-)
4. My first "leading role" in a play. 1st grade, still in Maine, we did a little kids musical called "Get Hoppin'". The teacher assigned roles by asking who wanted to play what. I remember waiting for her to say the name of Bunny Sue (yeah, I still remember), so I could raise my hand. I'd had the acting/singing bug for so long even at that point. I raised my hand first, got to be Bunny Sue, got to perform in the gym in front of all the parents and friends and was so completely hooked by everything. As a tag-a-long memory, I remember my mom making the bunny costume. That was a pain in the ass.
5. I'm going to compact a lot of little moments into one big one: SFOA. (Summer Festival of the Arts.) This was a 3 week summer program in Bar Harbor that I started the summer before 3rd grade, and continued to do until I was 16. It was an arts camp where I took poetry, music, acting, musical theater, dance, etc etc etc - anything you could possibly think of in the arts sphere. I met some of my closest friends in Maine, some of my biggest mentors as a singer and actress. My last two years I was an apprentice and assistant teacher. The year I stopped would have been my 10th consecutive year, and it still breaks my heart that I didn't hit that milestone.
6. Another series of moments is my 4 years in the Cypress Center for the Arts chorus. I miss my high school for that reason only. Some of the most fun I've ever had singing, alone and in a large group, in my whole life. Where I met my core group of school friends, where I learned all of my music theory knowledge and technique. My 2 years of doing All-State choir was some of the most fun I've ever had, and I do still miss it everyday.
7. Moving to New York. Probably the scariest thing I've ever done in my entire life. My mom and I flew up here a couple days before I had to move in. Saw Dirty Rotten Scoundrels the night before. I remember not being to sleep afterwards because I just couldn't wrap my mind around moving into this dorm room and not going back home. It was such a foreign concept to me. After moving in, I stayed in my room for almost 24 hours. I didn't eat. I was so completely petrified. I waited for Kadey to move in to even attempt human contact. And lest we forget me having to work up the courage to shower in the communal showers. It was totally exciting.
8. My first Broadway show. My mom and my friend Ashley and I took the train in from Connecticut when I was 14(a pit stop on the way to Maine that summer). We had no tickets, no clue what we wanted to see. I remember going to the box office of Chicago (which was still at the Shubert at this point.) We were somehow able to get front row rush seats. I remember putting my foot on the stage before the show started and being so overwealmed. The show was fantastic - and included Jennifer Holliday as Mama Morton, though I only knew her as the woman on Ally McBeal at the time.
9. My first date with Mike, obviously. Star Trek at his apartment deep in the heart of Brooklyn. He came up to where I was in Brooklyn Heights at 4pm. We'd planned to go pick up his computer at a Fed Ex center (because he'd missed the delivery), but then realized it was a Sunday and it was closed. So we headed to his place. He made steak and potatoes for dinner (which I now know is one of his favorite things, and he prides himself on his potatoes.) Watched Star Trek. I distinctly remember one of his roommates coming home, and when she asked if it was a date, he responded "I don't think so" after a really long pause. And I almost threw up. Obviously it either turned into a date, or he just didn't know how to respond. Because eventually I was scooching closer to him. And then he put his arm around me. And then he kissed me. And then we watched "Thank You for Smoking". And we kissed more. And it felt so completely right.
10. The first time Mike and I said the magic three words. This is a doozy of a moment, because we were having a fight/emotional conversation (what was then a monthly occurrence.) He asked me why I was with him. I covered my face with a pillow and said it. His response, which I will never forget, was "I might be crazy, but I think I love you too". I love this moment because it was so incredibly imperfect. It came out of something really stressful and bad, and maybe that made it even more special.
Well, that was fun! lol. Obviously there are other moments, maybe even more unforgettable than those, but I really just went with my instincts and didn't think to prioritize at all. Life is fun!
*K
1. Becoming friends with Anthony. I'll never forget the way it happened. Sophomore year, I was 15. I gave him my AOL screen name after a voice lesson (he took piano from the same teacher.) because I thought he was cute. (No joke. Even then. I could post an embarrassing picture of him and Max - he knows the one I mean - to illustrate my point, but I'm not that mean. :-D) We talked online that night for 6+ hours. Our first real conversation was 6+ hours long. We were watching a marathon of MTV's hit show 'Undressed'. It was one of those things that stuck instantly. My life would be completely different had I not thought he was cute, despite the fact that I was dating Tim at the time. Whoops. ;-)
2. The day I found out my dad was HIV positive. It was late in August 2005. My parents had decided to get a divorce that past September, so he didn't come home from Maine that year. My friends had already gone off to college for the first time because FL school start earlier. I was still in my pajamas, on my computer, watching TV. My dad had been in the hospital for a few days by this point. My mom knocked on my door, told me what he was sick with. I had very little reaction, a very "Kerrie way" of handling things at the time. I remember e-mailing Anthony instantly because for the first time he wasn't in Cape Coral. I don't remember crying or feeling much of anything at first, it all took a while to sink in. It may still be sinking in, though he's doing really well and it's very much under control. In a way the divorce and the sickness sort of sparked the relationship I have with him now - which still isn't remarkably strong or easy, but it's a vast improvement from while I was growing up.
3. Moving to FL. I don't remember the move, what time of year we left, or even moving our stuff into the house. All I remember is my first day of school - we moved in the middle of my 2nd grade year. I remember my mom walking me to the classroom at Skyline Elementary, and being absolutely shocked at the amount of kids in the room and the amount of computers. After coming from Maine with 10 kids to a class and maybe 5 computers for the whole school, it was a bit jarring. ;-)
4. My first "leading role" in a play. 1st grade, still in Maine, we did a little kids musical called "Get Hoppin'". The teacher assigned roles by asking who wanted to play what. I remember waiting for her to say the name of Bunny Sue (yeah, I still remember), so I could raise my hand. I'd had the acting/singing bug for so long even at that point. I raised my hand first, got to be Bunny Sue, got to perform in the gym in front of all the parents and friends and was so completely hooked by everything. As a tag-a-long memory, I remember my mom making the bunny costume. That was a pain in the ass.
5. I'm going to compact a lot of little moments into one big one: SFOA. (Summer Festival of the Arts.) This was a 3 week summer program in Bar Harbor that I started the summer before 3rd grade, and continued to do until I was 16. It was an arts camp where I took poetry, music, acting, musical theater, dance, etc etc etc - anything you could possibly think of in the arts sphere. I met some of my closest friends in Maine, some of my biggest mentors as a singer and actress. My last two years I was an apprentice and assistant teacher. The year I stopped would have been my 10th consecutive year, and it still breaks my heart that I didn't hit that milestone.
6. Another series of moments is my 4 years in the Cypress Center for the Arts chorus. I miss my high school for that reason only. Some of the most fun I've ever had singing, alone and in a large group, in my whole life. Where I met my core group of school friends, where I learned all of my music theory knowledge and technique. My 2 years of doing All-State choir was some of the most fun I've ever had, and I do still miss it everyday.
7. Moving to New York. Probably the scariest thing I've ever done in my entire life. My mom and I flew up here a couple days before I had to move in. Saw Dirty Rotten Scoundrels the night before. I remember not being to sleep afterwards because I just couldn't wrap my mind around moving into this dorm room and not going back home. It was such a foreign concept to me. After moving in, I stayed in my room for almost 24 hours. I didn't eat. I was so completely petrified. I waited for Kadey to move in to even attempt human contact. And lest we forget me having to work up the courage to shower in the communal showers. It was totally exciting.
8. My first Broadway show. My mom and my friend Ashley and I took the train in from Connecticut when I was 14(a pit stop on the way to Maine that summer). We had no tickets, no clue what we wanted to see. I remember going to the box office of Chicago (which was still at the Shubert at this point.) We were somehow able to get front row rush seats. I remember putting my foot on the stage before the show started and being so overwealmed. The show was fantastic - and included Jennifer Holliday as Mama Morton, though I only knew her as the woman on Ally McBeal at the time.
9. My first date with Mike, obviously. Star Trek at his apartment deep in the heart of Brooklyn. He came up to where I was in Brooklyn Heights at 4pm. We'd planned to go pick up his computer at a Fed Ex center (because he'd missed the delivery), but then realized it was a Sunday and it was closed. So we headed to his place. He made steak and potatoes for dinner (which I now know is one of his favorite things, and he prides himself on his potatoes.) Watched Star Trek. I distinctly remember one of his roommates coming home, and when she asked if it was a date, he responded "I don't think so" after a really long pause. And I almost threw up. Obviously it either turned into a date, or he just didn't know how to respond. Because eventually I was scooching closer to him. And then he put his arm around me. And then he kissed me. And then we watched "Thank You for Smoking". And we kissed more. And it felt so completely right.
10. The first time Mike and I said the magic three words. This is a doozy of a moment, because we were having a fight/emotional conversation (what was then a monthly occurrence.) He asked me why I was with him. I covered my face with a pillow and said it. His response, which I will never forget, was "I might be crazy, but I think I love you too". I love this moment because it was so incredibly imperfect. It came out of something really stressful and bad, and maybe that made it even more special.
Well, that was fun! lol. Obviously there are other moments, maybe even more unforgettable than those, but I really just went with my instincts and didn't think to prioritize at all. Life is fun!
*K
