Forever Incomplete

One day I'll find relief.
I'll be arrived
And I'll be a friend to my friends who know how to be friends
One day I'll be at peace
I�ll be enlightened
And I'll be married with children and maybe adopt
One day I will be healed
I will gather my wounds Forge the end of tragic comedy
I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time
Of being forever incomplete
One day my mind will retreat
And I'll know god
And I'll be constantly one with her night dusk and day
One day I'll be secure
Like the women I see on their 30th anniversaries
I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time
Of being forever incomplete
Ever unfolding
Ever expanding
Ever adventurous and torturous
But never done
One day I will speak freely
I'll be less afraid
And measured outside of my poems and lyrics and art
One day I will be faith-filled
I'll be trusting and spacious authentic and grounded and whole
I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time
Of being forever incomplete

- Incomplete. Alanis Moriessette.

This song is beautiful. It's so true, and I feel like it's everything I've been trying to communicate recently about life in general. The rapture of being incomplete. I was speaking about this recently, about why I love life and why I think it's all so worth it - even through all of the bullshit. Because it doesn't need to be planned out, it doesn't need to even be expected. It's surprising, and exciting, and that's what makes it so much fun to live. Finding your own way. Finding your own person. Not knowing who you are the minute you come into this world, or even ever. Because it's just... discovering it. Over and over and over again. Never being a complete definition of a person in most people's eyes. It's good. It's how it should be. I don't want to live a second without the discovery. I don't want to know the plan of my life, whatever it should be. I want to find it myself. I even want to feel empty sometimes. Because there's the knowledge that something will fill that void, and something else will fill another void, and that the gaps in ourselves are only part of growing and moving on.

I wasn't open to all of this before. This is actually a recent development in the way I think about life and myself and what I want the rest of my life to be. I think it spawned from... well, being somewhat content. And having the time to think about who I am, instead of always being scared of it. I'm comfortable with my surroundings, and with the incredible people in my life. Knowing they won't be judging or arguing and I'm completely free to explore.

That's a jumbled mess. But man I love this song.


When I Google image searched 'incomplete', this is the image I got. Fitting, no?






*K

1 comments:

    Beautiful!! I love you!

     

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