I Have Found

It's not awful.

Two, I can't cook. I just can't. I don't know what flavors would ever compliment each other or how to tell if water is boiling. I mean... is it when it starts bubbling? Does it have to start spattering everywhere before it's at a full boil? And why do I always get burnt? Do you have to wear long sleeves when cooking?

Three, cooking shows without live audiences freak me out. Just the thought of this random person cooking dinner for themselves and talking aloud the recipe without anyone being there to hear them. It's weird.

None of this matters anymore. On the weekdays I have off from work (Mondays and Fridays), I watch the Food Network from the time I wake up until Mike gets home. Unless, of course, I have plans. But that never happens. So I watch the Food Network, Mike gets home, I threaten to eat his arm.

Here lies the problem with my obsession with the Food Network: it doesn't make me want to cook, it doesn't make me want to learn about cooking. It just makes me hungry. Ravenous. Hungry for foods I don't even like. Foods I've never heard of. STARVING. As if I haven't eaten in years. (When really, it's just I haven't eaten anything but peanut butter and fluff all day.)

Luckily I've ended up with a dashing boyfriend who happens to be a whiz in the kitchen. Thankfully. I don't really remember what I ate in college - though I do often have flashbacks of our sophomore year dorm freezer filled from top to bottom with Hot Pockets. (I quickly suppress this memory, because now the very thought of Hot Pockets makes me sick.)

Well, anyway, Mike is out of town from now until Sunday night. So I'm watching Top Chef (not the Food Network, but might as well be) and getting ready to make a peanut butter, fluff, and nutella sandwich. And then maybe some ramen.

Mike goes away and I regress to an 18 year old.

I am no good at being alone. I used to be really good at it. I used to prefer it. But now that I've spent 2 1/2 years with this incredible person who is near me whenever I need and want him to be (which is always), it's hard to sit here alone and be content. I'll definitely be sleeping on the couch tonight with the TV on.

I'm taking offers for people to sleep on my couch so that I'm not in an empty apartment. Just tonight and tomorrow night. Conversation would be nice too, but mostly I'm just looking for someone to take on any burglars or ghosts. Or vampires. (They're not hot teenagers, guys, they're horrible creatures that SUCK YOUR BLOOD. Jesus.)

PB&J&F&N time.

(end long rambling post)

*K