So, I've really wanted to try and write in here everyday, more to just get this thing out there and see what people think. I came across a really neat tool online - The Imagination Prompt Generator.
As you can probably... uh... imagine... it gives a new prompt to write about. I figure it'd be a good start to getting a topic for the beginning of each day.

First prompt:
Write about the losses you've experienced.

So, that's a heavy start. I promised myself I wouldn't pick and choose topics and I'd go with the first I was given. So. Get ready for an upbeat morning! :)

My first experience with real loss was in the 7th grade. Our teacher Mr. Harley, and more importantly to me - our theater director - passed away from cancer around the middle of the year. I was never able to go to the funeral, and that always stuck with me. It was my first experience with death.

My second loss was Taryn. She didn't die, she's still very much alive somewhere. We grew up together as her family sort of mirrored our moving choices from Connecticut to Maine to Florida. She was the closest thing I've ever really had to a sister. She ran away when I was 13. Because her life sucked, her mom was crazy, and it had really only been a matter of time before something like that happened. I remember finding out and collapsing against a wall. I remember her mom making up stories about where she might be, but never actually knowing where she ended up. I didn't see her again until 2 years later, when she resurfaced down the street from us, only to disappear again. I remember inviting her over and trying to talk to her, but everything we shared -every connection that made our relationship special - was completely gone. I've seen her once since then only by happy circumstance. She was working at the Panera Bread my friends and I decided to visit on a whim last year. We exchanged numbers and nice words, but I think we both knew neither of us would call. She's experienced too much to go back to the way we were, and I totally accept that. But it is still one of my biggest losses.

The summer after my freshman year of college, my grandpa died. He had a heart attack in June. I left my vacation with Anthony's family in Virginia early to fly to Connecticut to be with him and my family when he had bypass surgery. He came out of surgery with things looking really promising. He was in the hospital for a month and a half, only to pass away there on August 1st, 2006. It is still the most devestating thing to happen to me and my family. We were really close, had been my entire life. We sang together with his band when I was 7 (John Denver's "Country Roads", a song I still can't listen to). He was part of my passion for music and art, and losing him was so profound. It's been almost 3 years now, which is so hard to believe. My grandma is settled with a new boyfriend, and I'm totally positive my grandpa brought them together. I wish so much, more than anything, that he'd been able to meet Mike. I just want my grandpa to know I'm happy and in good hands. I'm sure he knows. I still miss him as if it happened yesterday.

And as those who know me well know, the most recent loss is Max. My beautiful, amazing golden retriever wonder dog from home. He was 10 years old. I wasn't home at the time. It was near Thanksgiving. He'd been sick for a week or so, and one morning at the vet my mom knew it was time. I regret not being there and not seeing him one last time so much. He'd spent his entire life with us, from just 3 weeks old. What was amazing about losing Max was the support I got from everyone around me. My core group of friends in Florida practically grew up with him as well, and were all equally affected by his death. Just 5 months before he died, I threw him a 10th birthday party - black and white themed - with a cake and doggie cookies and presents from friends. It sounds silly, but he was important to all of us. I think it's something I'll never get over, and it's something I'm dreading having to go through ever again.

So, that was fun. Hopefully I'll get a happier prompt tomorrow... ;-)

Wii Fit time!



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